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Jokes

LuaEclipser's Photo LuaEclipser 15 Mar 2013

View PostAppleeater, on 15 March 2013 - 10:44 AM, said:

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.

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:P umm, no
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LuaEclipser's Photo LuaEclipser 15 Mar 2013

What Starts With F and ends in UCK?
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What do you see when the Pillsbury dough man bends over? (RATED PG-13, I think)
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AnDwHaT5's Photo AnDwHaT5 15 Mar 2013

View PostLuaEclipser, on 15 March 2013 - 10:52 AM, said:

What Starts With F and ends in UCK?
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What do you see when the Pillsbury dough man bends over? (RATED PG-13, I think)
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It isn't the fact that you censored it it can't be on forums I need a mods opinion on this.

Edit I think as long as it is rated and a warning it should be fine but yet that was very funny I would add to jokes on top but me get in trouble.
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AnDwHaT5's Photo AnDwHaT5 15 Mar 2013

Patient: Docter help! Docter: What's wrong? Patient: There is something wrong with my butt! Docter: What is wrong with it? Patient: There is a Crack in it and I need a new one! Docter: Have you tried the OTHER hospital down the street they might be able to HELP you. Patient: Thanks doc! Docter:(in mind) Hehehe how long will it take him to figure it out?!
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AndreWalia's Photo AndreWalia 15 Mar 2013

What word ends with igger?
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TheOddByte's Photo TheOddByte 15 Mar 2013

How does a lion like his meat?
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What type of music does mummies listen to?
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What did o say to 8?
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What washes up on tiny beaches?
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AndreWalia's Photo AndreWalia 15 Mar 2013

Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Cranium's Photo Cranium 16 Mar 2013

View PostLuaEclipser, on 15 March 2013 - 10:52 AM, said:

What Starts With F and ends in UCK?
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What do you see when the Pillsbury dough man bends over? (RATED PG-13, I think)
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You're done making jokes. Consider this an official warning.
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TheOddByte's Photo TheOddByte 16 Mar 2013

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"
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LuaEclipser's Photo LuaEclipser 16 Mar 2013

View PostCranium, on 16 March 2013 - 03:47 AM, said:

View PostLuaEclipser, on 15 March 2013 - 10:52 AM, said:

What Starts With F and ends in UCK?
Spoiler
What do you see when the Pillsbury dough man bends over? (RATED PG-13, I think)
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You're done making jokes. Consider this an official warning.
:( ok, sorry thers a place and a time :D

i just only know dirty jokes XD
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Dlcruz129's Photo Dlcruz129 16 Mar 2013

View PostHellkid98, on 16 March 2013 - 09:23 AM, said:

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"


I've heard this one. Very nice. (Chemistry FTW)
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remiX's Photo remiX 16 Mar 2013

I had a lot of good chemistry jokes, but they Argon.

I was going to tell you a chemistry joke about sodium and hydrogen, but NaH.

Want to hear a chemistry joke about potassium? K!

What did Oxygen say to Magnesium when they met? OMg!

I had more and friends have told me more but can't think of them now, will write them here when I remember them xD
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TheOddByte's Photo TheOddByte 16 Mar 2013

View PostremiX, on 16 March 2013 - 11:57 AM, said:

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What did Oxygen say to Magnesium when they met? OMg!
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That one was on 9gag yesterday.. It's nice :D
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remiX's Photo remiX 16 Mar 2013

View PostHellkid98, on 16 March 2013 - 12:34 PM, said:

View PostremiX, on 16 March 2013 - 11:57 AM, said:

-Snip-
What did Oxygen say to Magnesium when they met? OMg!
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That one was on 9gag yesterday.. It's nice :D

Lol really? My chemistry teacher actually told us that one a while back xD
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AndreWalia's Photo AndreWalia 16 Mar 2013

View PostLuaEclipser, on 16 March 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

View PostCranium, on 16 March 2013 - 03:47 AM, said:

View PostLuaEclipser, on 15 March 2013 - 10:52 AM, said:

What Starts With F and ends in UCK?
Spoiler
What do you see when the Pillsbury dough man bends over? (RATED PG-13, I think)
Spoiler
You're done making jokes. Consider this an official warning.
:( ok, sorry thers a place and a time :D

i just only know dirty jokes XD
Dude I really need that client is it almost done?
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KaoS's Photo KaoS 16 Mar 2013

speaking of chem jokes my chem teacher had a little rhyme that I found funny in a way:

The poor old lad is dead and gone, his face will see no more
for what he thought was H20 was H2SO4
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AndreWalia's Photo AndreWalia 16 Mar 2013

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing left! This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."
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SuicidalSTDz's Photo SuicidalSTDz 16 Mar 2013

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
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Dlcruz129's Photo Dlcruz129 16 Mar 2013

View PostKaoS, on 16 March 2013 - 03:36 PM, said:

speaking of chem jokes my chem teacher had a little rhyme that I found funny in a way:

The poor old lad is dead and gone, his face will see no more
for what he thought was H20 was H2SO4

I've heard a similar one:
Little Johnny was a chemist, and now he is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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SuicidalSTDz's Photo SuicidalSTDz 16 Mar 2013

Hand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
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