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Programming Jokes [Nerds Only :p]


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#1 jesusthekiller

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 03:44 AM

You fount good programming/nerdy joke? Share it :D

So, I'll start:

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#2 Mads

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 05:49 AM

These aren't really programming jokes. They're just webcomics from xkcd.

#3 jesusthekiller

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 06:25 AM

Most of them are about programming tho...

#4 H4X0RZ

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 06:31 AM

Why does programers allways mix up haloween and christmas?

because OKT 31 is DEZ 24 :D

#5 ShadowedZenith

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 07:36 AM

This is possibly the most unfunny joke I've ever heard, but, I get a small chuckle out of it none the less.

Java walks into the CPU and sits down. It looks to the OS and asks "What's on the menu?" The OS replies "Nothing, you've already eating all of the ram and swap".

#6 M4sh3dP0t4t03

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 09:03 AM

View PostFreack100, on 19 July 2013 - 06:31 AM, said:

Why does programers allways mix up haloween and christmas?

because OKT 31 is DEZ 24 :D/>
That's wrong! Christmas is DEC 25. DEC 24 would be OCT 30.

#7 H4X0RZ

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 09:37 AM

View PostKingOfNoobs, on 19 July 2013 - 09:03 AM, said:

View PostFreack100, on 19 July 2013 - 06:31 AM, said:

Why does programers allways mix up haloween and christmas?

because OKT 31 is DEZ 24 :D/>/>
That's wrong! Christmas is DEC 25. DEC 24 would be OCT 30.
Really?


#8 Lyqyd

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 09:59 AM

Half of the point of xkcd is the "alt-text" (technically the title text) for each image. You should link to the pages rather than hotlinking the images.

#9 Zudo

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 10:14 AM

Spoiler

Would your IT teacher accept this for detention?

#10 Dlcruz129

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 10:50 AM

Don't we already have a jokes topic?

#11 Cranium

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 12:51 PM

I'm thinking this is unnecessary, considering you are just posting ONE comic...
We can all go to the damned site and read all of those.

#12 Zee

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 05:20 PM

View PostZudoHackz, on 19 July 2013 - 10:14 AM, said:

Spoiler

Would your IT teacher accept this for detention?
I would accept this if I was a teacher.

#13 Orwell

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 06:29 PM

View PostZudoHackz, on 19 July 2013 - 10:14 AM, said:

Spoiler

Would your IT teacher accept this for detention?
No, he wouldn't due to lack of indentation. :P

#14 PixelToast

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 08:14 PM

and its in lua wich is waaaay to easy :P
make it in C instead

#15 Mads

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 02:56 AM

View PostPixelToast, on 19 July 2013 - 08:14 PM, said:

and its in lua wich is waaaay to easy :P/>
make it in C instead

C is easy too. Do it in Assembly!

section .data
text: db "I will not throw paper at the teacher.", 0x0A
len: equ $-text

section .text
    global _start

_start:
    push 0

    loop:
        mov eax, 4
        mov ebx, 1
        mov ecx, text
        mov edx, len
        int 0x80

        inc dword [esp]
        cmp dword [esp], 500
        jl loop

    pop edx
    mov eax, 1
    mov ebx, 0
    int 0x80


#16 jesusthekiller

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 08:08 AM

Guy wants to borrow 500$ from his friend. He got 512$ to "round it up" :D

#17 iownall555

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Posted 21 July 2013 - 12:31 AM

Do you want to hear a UDP joke?
Nevermind you probably won't get it.


The only one I can currently think of.

#18 Mads

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Posted 21 July 2013 - 03:37 AM

Why do many Java users wear glasses?
Because the don't C-Sharp!

#19 DaGamer12345

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Posted 22 July 2013 - 08:37 PM

They said Java sucks... I made them return false;

#20 jesusthekiller

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 04:51 AM

Fount in heavily commented shell script:

# export data
export DATA






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