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Programming Jokes [Nerds Only :p]


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#21 Nanobot

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 01:31 PM

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

#22 jesusthekiller

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 03:28 PM

There are 10 types of people in world: Those who understand binary, those who don't and those who haven't thought it is tenary joke :-)

#23 Pinkishu

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 08:39 AM

View PostMads, on 20 July 2013 - 02:56 AM, said:

View PostPixelToast, on 19 July 2013 - 08:14 PM, said:

and its in lua wich is waaaay to easy :P/>
make it in C instead

C is easy too. Do it in Assembly!

section .data
text: db "I will not throw paper at the teacher.", 0x0A
len: equ $-text

section .text
	global _start

_start:
	push 0

	loop:
		mov eax, 4
		mov ebx, 1
		mov ecx, text
		mov edx, len
		int 0x80

		inc dword [esp]
		cmp dword [esp], 500
		jl loop

	pop edx
	mov eax, 1
	mov ebx, 0
	int 0x80

Assembly is too easy, do it in notepad

Not exactly programming jokes i guess but:
What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.

and

A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”


A bit more about programming but not exactly a joke:
Posted Image

#24 Tjakka5

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 10:19 AM

View PostPinkishu, on 26 July 2013 - 08:39 AM, said:

A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”

Somehow it reminded me off another joke.

Warning: Not a programmers joke.

Me: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hello Hungry, I'm dad.
Me: Dad, I'm serious.
Dad: No, you are hungry.
Me: You are dumb.
Dad: Nope, I'm dad.

#25 Angelus

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 12:51 AM

View PostPinkishu, on 26 July 2013 - 08:39 AM, said:

View PostMads, on 20 July 2013 - 02:56 AM, said:

View PostPixelToast, on 19 July 2013 - 08:14 PM, said:

and its in lua wich is waaaay to easy :P/>
make it in C instead

C is easy too. Do it in Assembly!

section .data
text: db "I will not throw paper at the teacher.", 0x0A
len: equ $-text

section .text
	global _start

_start:
	push 0

	loop:
		mov eax, 4
		mov ebx, 1
		mov ecx, text
		mov edx, len
		int 0x80

		inc dword [esp]
		cmp dword [esp], 500
		jl loop

	pop edx
	mov eax, 1
	mov ebx, 0
	int 0x80

Assembly is too easy, do it in notepad

Not exactly programming jokes i guess but:
What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.

and

A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”


A bit more about programming but not exactly a joke:
Posted Image

Try writing in Malbolge. I'm actually tempted to try doing this in Malbolge, but I think that would drive me criminally insane.

#26 iownall555

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 04:36 AM

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an
electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic
navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze
the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the
airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew
a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. The sign
said "WHERE AM I ?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and
determine the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and
landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the
"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The
pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building
because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless
answer."

#27 jesusthekiller

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 05:42 AM

View PostAngelus, on 02 August 2013 - 12:51 AM, said:

Try writing in Malbolge. I'm actually tempted to try doing this in Malbolge, but I think that would drive me criminally insane.

It took computer 2 years to make "Hello world!" in malbolge :P

#28 Anavrins

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 01:23 AM

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don't care if you get them or not.

#29 Cdiamondz

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 02:37 PM

View PostZudoHackz, on 19 July 2013 - 10:14 AM, said:

Spoiler

Would your IT teacher accept this for detention?

Let's translate this to Python 2.7.3!
for i in range(1, 501):
    print"I will not throw paper at the teacher"


#30 PixelToast

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 07:10 PM

View PostCdiamondz, on 06 August 2013 - 02:37 PM, said:

View PostZudoHackz, on 19 July 2013 - 10:14 AM, said:

Spoiler

Would your IT teacher accept this for detention?

Let's translate this to Python 2.7.3!
for i in range(1, 501):
	print"I will not throw paper at the teacher"
Let's not.
i have some serious psycodic hatreds against that language

#31 neojames

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 07:20 PM

A man asks his programmer friend, who is about to head down the shops, to pick up a liter of milk and if there are eggs to get 12. The programmer returned with 12 pints of milk.





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